Forgiven
by Ellivia22
Summary: post Mockingjay, pre-epilogue. Peeta has a bad reaction to the tracker jacker venom and attacks Katniss violently. Overwhelmed with guilt and self-hatred for what he's done, he decides to end his life. Can Katniss stop him in time? ONESHOT Everllark.


(A/N: Here's my next Hunger Games story. I really hope you like it. Please review. Love, Ellivia22)

Disclaimer: If I owned Hunger Games, Peeta wouldn't have been tortured. I love him so much :D

******Forgiven**

******Peeta**

It is a long, cold night. For the third night in a row, sleep refuses to come to me. The woman lying next to me is having much better luck. Katniss has been sleeping soundly while I lay here wide awake. Not that it's going to matter anymore. After tonight I'll get all the sleep I want.

I lean over and kiss Katniss lightly on the cheek. Being so close I can see the bruises that are still on her neck, and the cuts on her face slowly fading away. My stomach tightens. As I pull away from her I feel a tear in my heart. This will be the last time I see her. In a few short minutes, I will be dead. I know it's for the best.

I never believed in suicide. I always thought it was selfish and an unnecessary pain to the people who love you. But to me now, committing suicide is a sacrifice I must make. It's the only way I can save Katniss from myself. If I'm dead, I can't hurt her anymore.

As quietly as I can I get out of bed and head downstairs. I try to walk quietly so that the creaky floors won't wake up my fiance. My heart is beating fast. I can't stop thinking about the events that occurred three days ago. The day I truly turned into a monster.

___The wind blew hard as I walked down the street towards my house. The day was almost over. All the bread I had baked earlier that morning was sold. Now was time to go home and bake some more. I didn't need to work since I still had money from the games, but it was something I enjoyed doing._

___Once I opened the door I stopped dead in my tracks. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up, my pulse starting to accelerate. Coming down the stairs was Katniss Everdeen, arrows on her back. What was she doing in my house? Was she here to kill me? The rebels want me dead, and she was my enemy._

___"I'm going hunting," she said shortly, coming closer._

Coming to hunt me___my mind told me in warning. Before she could get any closer I grabbed her roughly, slamming her into the wall. Glass showered the both of us as the mirror about us shattered. My hands circled around her throat tight. I felt my face being cut up from the glass, but I ignored it. All that mattered to me was staying alive._

___"Peeta," Katniss gasped, clutching my hands desperately._

___"You're not going to kill me, you mutt," I snarled, tightening my grip around her throat. "Your rebels will not win!"_

___"P-Peeta it's me. It's your Katniss."_

___"You are nothing but a liar, a cheat. You only deserve death." Katniss' eyes shut as her face started to turn blue._

___PING_

___My eyes fell from Katniss. Lying on the ground was a small pearl. The pearl was white and looked very familiar. It must have fallen from her pocket. I stared at it for a long second. Then memories flooded me fast like an electric current: the Quarter Quell; trying to keep Katniss alive; being captured by the Capitol._

___Then I remembered Katniss telling me what was real and not real. I remember her telling me that her love for me was real. Finally I remembered how much I loved her in return. I let go of my grip on her and stepped back. What in the hell was I doing?_

___I stared at the girl I've loved for as long as I can remember. Blood was running down her face from the glass. Large bruises started to form on her neck. A moment later she opened her eyes and starts gasping for breath. Absolute fear was on her face. Guilt and shame consumed me fast. She wasn't the mutation. I was._

___"Peeta," Katniss began._

___Before she could say anything else I turned and bolted out the door. I ran as fast as my legs could go. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't erase Katniss' horrified face out of my mind. I hated myself for what I did to her. I hated myself for what I've become._

I reach the bottom of the stairs. My chest is so tight I can barely breathe. The Capitol turned me into a monster. Because of them I don't know what's real or not real anymore. Worst of all, because of the tracker jacker venom, I hurt the girl who means more to me than anything in the world. I would just leave, but I don't want the chance to hurt anybody else. It would be better for everyone if I just end it.

Silently I grab the sharpest knife from the rack. I still have the suicide pill that Gale gave me during the rebellion, but I don't want to die that way. For all I've done to Katniss, I deserve to die painfully. I deserve to suffer.

I close my eyes, the knife poised over my heart. ___On the count of three._

___One_

Katniss flashes in my mind one last time: her long black braid, her beautiful gray eyes. I feel my right cheek become damp. I'm going to miss her so much.

___Two_

"Peeta, it's not worth it."

My eyes snap open. Standing a few feet away in her light orange silky pajamas is Katniss.

******Katniss**

I stare at the blonde figure in shock. I had woken up to find him no longer in bed. I needed to make sure that he was okay. He hasn't been the same since three days ago. It was really starting to worry me.

After his reaction to the tracker jacker venom, Peeta has been completely withdrawn from me. He doesn't say too much anymore and is too ashamed to even look at me in the eyes. I know that what happened is tormenting him. The fact that he's resorting to this breaks my heart. I am so in love with him and can't lose him. I had to show him that I have forgiven him-and fast.

"You know I have to do this," his says hoarsely. He winces as his eyes focus on the cuts and bruises on my face and neck. "For your own protection."

"I'm fine, really. It was nothing," I protest.

"Nothing?" Peeta says in anguish. "Look at you! You're covered in bruises and cuts. I did that to you! Worst of all I almost killed you! I'm a monster and deserve to be destroyed."

The pain in his voice tears me to pieces. My heart pounds as I watch the knife still poised over his chest. He could do it at anytime. I had to stop him somehow. I take a careful step towards him. "I don't blame you for what happened. I blame the Capitol. They are the ones who did this to you. No matter how horrible you think you are, I still think you are the amazing boy who gave me the bread all those years ago. You are the one I love seeing every morning when I wake up. I love you, Peeta. I know you love me. So spare us both pain by not going through with this."

A lone tear falls down his face. I've never seen him show so much emotion before. His body trembles slightly. I am almost close enough to grab the knife away from him. "I'm so afraid that I'm going to lose control again. The last thing I want to do is kill you. I can't live without you."

"Then let's work on the reactions together. We can find a better way for you to deal with them." My hands grasp the knife, careful not to cut myself. "Please let go of the knife."

Once my gray eyes meet his blue ones, I feel him release the knife. It clatters to the ground, but we don't notice. His arms wrap around my waist for a tight embrace. I hug him tightly. His body continues to shake with emotion.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you. I didn't mean to. I swear."

I kiss his neck softly. A moan escapes his lips. "I know. I forgive you."

Peeta's lips meet mine in an intense kiss. I melt into him, responding with fiery passion. "I love you, Katniss. I always have."

"I love you too. And that fact will always be real. Please don't forget that."

"I promise."

After a long moment, Peeta calms down enough to go back to bed. I wrap my arms around him while under the covers, breathing in his musky scent. I feel him fall asleep for the first time in days. I hold him close, promising myself to never lose him.

******The End**


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